all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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