i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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