i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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