she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
