i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
