Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
