To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
