ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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