nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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