Rock
Scissors
Fuck
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
