Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
