Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize