one two three fourrrrnication!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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