Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You were trust falling into bushes
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
