wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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