Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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