so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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