he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I checked into jail on foursquare
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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