i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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