theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
do herpes really smell.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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