You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
