i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
