so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
