youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
