4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
