I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
