I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
