Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
