Me. At least after what I've been through.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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