She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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