it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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