Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
