K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
