come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
