angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
