Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
