D3 body, D1 cock
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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