So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
