Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
