I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
