Porn is love you can see.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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