how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
