we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
