She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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