What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
