I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize