I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
