good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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