How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
