Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Screwed.edu
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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