Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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