I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize