honey bunches of taint.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
