Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
