This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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