i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
