Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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