i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
