so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
