school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
