Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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