every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
