I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
