I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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