Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
True strength comes from lack of pants
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
