Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
