I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
