too bad you live with your parents still
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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